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I still remember the day when you’re on your knees and looked me in the eyes and tell me that you loved me.

I still remember the moment you held my hand and put a ring on my finger.

I still remember every single word you said, “I will love you, forever. I will fight for us. I will take care of us. I promise our love will grow stronger, each day count. With you, I find the happier version of me. If you let me, I will make you happier than you are today, everyday.”

I still remember the warmth of your hug and the warmth of my happy tears when I said, ‘I do.’

 

Apparently, you can’t have everything you want in life.

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After countless of fights. After endless sleepless nights. After gallons of tears and agony and wondering, what went wrong between us, I realise … forever is a lie. Some people are just not meant to be. Some people grow together, some grow apart. And there’s nothing we could do to fix it.

How I wish we don’t let our egos get in the way of love.

How I wish we practice the ‘compromise’ word more often.

How I wish we didn’t have to shout at each other every time a problem occurred.

How I wish there’s no such thing as ‘too late to fix us.’

How I wish the ‘I love you’ is enough.

How I wish we never complicate simple things.

How I wish we don’t have to feel this pain.

How I wish the ring on my finger and on yours are the magic rings that will hold us together.

How I wish we never have to take off the rings from our fingers.

How I wish we could look at each other the way it was, when there’s nothing but love.

How I wish the person we love the most will never be the person that hurts us the most.

There are so many ‘How I wish’ in my mind. Things that could have, but they didn’t happen. Maybe someday I will learn the art of how to lower my expectations. Maybe someday I will master the art of how to not be broken from a severe heartbreak. Maybe, someday …

I am writing you this letter to remind myself that there was love between us. I am writing you so you don’t have to take the blame alone. That you don’t fall in the pit of sorrow alone. That I am as sad as you. I am as hurt as you. I am as relieved as you. I am as hollow as you. You are not alone.

Don’t you think it’s kinda funny how the love we worship would be the thing that destroys us, tears us apart, and leave us with nothing but emptiness? Do you ever wish it would be better if we never met at all? I won’t blame you if your answer is ‘I do.’ It doesn’t matter anyway.

Another truth to be told: I never regret the day I met you. I never regret how I fell in love with you. I never regret my decision to say “I do” wholeheartedly when you asked me in the hand of marriage. I never regret to trust my heart and my life in your hands. I never regret our fights.

 

… I regret how we hurt each other.

 

So let’s save us from us. Save yourself. I will try to save myself.

Goodbye, for good.

 

 

– Postingan ini adalah postingan pertama gue untuk proyek #PeopleAroundUs yang gue gagas di Twitter. Banyak sekali yang ikut proyek ini, dan banyak sekali waktu gue yang terbuang untuk kerja, membaca postingan-postingan keren di proyek #PeopleAroundUs, sehingga gue sendiri keteteran dalam menulis. Foto ini diambil pada tanggal 16 September, di Starbucks Senayan City. Ekspresi perempuan di foto ini sangat menarik, dan gue merasa, ekspresinya harus gue abadikan. Lalu, ekspresinya bermetamorfosa menjadi sebuah cerita di benak gue, yang hasilnya bisa kalian baca di postingan ini. –

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