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We hurt each other even in silent. We don’t need to say the words, our eyes were filled with pain already. Maybe it was love. Maybe it was lust. And maybe what hurt the most was the high expectation. The way we hurt each other just to show how we loved each other was tiring, wasn’t it? Memories fade as time goes by or gone, just like that, with no trace. But we always remember how it hurt. I hurt you. You hurt me more. Then we said goodbye when all we wanted to say was ‘forgive me’.The ego has landed.

I wanted to say ‘please stay’ but the words froze in my brain, leave me wondering: what did we do wrong? Maybe you will never know that… I’m falling endlessly. I’m falling hopelessly. You’re not there to catch me.

When you hugged me, it felt like I’ll always be alright. Now that you left, it feels like nothing will ever be okay. For example, I can never listen to Michael Buble anymore. His Home hurts too much since you’re not the home anymore. And you know what? I am never alone. Not when the thoughts of you always haunting me. I am never alone, but I am lonely. If only the ‘i love you’ is enough, we wouldn’t have to fear the night. Darkness is scary when you’re lonely.

Sometimes, many times late at night, these thoughts crossed my mind, that our love was like the burning cigarette. It didn’t last that long, and filled with poison. I’m addicted to it. And when I said I’m addicted to you, it means I’m addicted to love and the pain it brings. Even the falling leaf reminds me of us. We are that leaf. Fragile and falling hopelessly, inevitable.

And so I tried to runaway. But every road and street i ran to, always bring me back to the thought of you. I travel to forget us. But every city I go, I can only imagine sharing the view with you, while holding your hand. Every street, every road, every coffee shops remind me of you. I hide inside my heart, and you’re there too. You know what hurts the most? You’re happier with him than with me. It makes me think I’m not worth a penny. And, I remember how we talked about our future together. We did it often. Now you’re talking about the future with someone else.

I watched the sun set the other day, and I remembered when you whispered softly to my ear, that you loved me. You remember how we used to fight when i throw my towel everywhere? I’m doing it again, hoping you’d yell at me. Why didn’t you bring your love along when you left? Why did you have to leave it here and bleed me dry? No. That’s wrong. We bleed each other dry. We made each other cry. We were two fools in love. How I hope we still are. And maybe you already know this: Before you, healing a broken heart was as easy as one two three.

You don’t need to hate me for what I’ve done. I’m doing it right now. My heart is not broken. It’s no longer there. You took it with you when you left. I am an empty shell. I was there. You didn’t even care. At least I was there, and I saw your face. And that’s enough. If only i can read your mind, maybe i could make you stay. The only question ringing in my mind right now is: why do we hurt the one we care the most? No one has the answer.

Can we turn back the time? I want to freeze the moment you’re smiling at me. Or if i run to the wall and hit my head really hard, will it stop the pain of missing you? Look how pathetic I am now. I am crying. No, I’m not crying because I miss you so. I’m crying because i secretly hope the tears will wash away the pain.

You used to say ‘you and me versus the world, okay?’ Guess what? Now i’m alone against the world.

Kumpulan tweet berhashtag #PecahdiUbud yang gue coba bentuk menjadi satu cerita. Well, it still sucks but hey, at least I update my blog. :D

 

PS: foto diambil dari sini

  • Reblogged this on emdewede and commented:
    get prepare your tissues, please…

  • pennymeilan

    Touchy….Its wonderful how you describe it so painfully. I guess its the story of many brokenhearted fellows out there too. My condolence, if thats your story…but really I love they way u write it.

  • karatup

    aduh om cirambay nih Bandung langsung banjir cileuncang pas saya baca ini aduh uhuukkk

  • :”( aooww…very touching

  • anonym

    kalo lima bulan yang lalu baca begini bisa gores2 tangan pake silet rasanya…hehehe..it’s very touchy..everyone can feel how much your pain..it really describes everyone’s feeling when they face their brokenheart..love your story!

  • Fitri Agnesia

    Pas banget. <///3

  • tadinya mau soksokan baca ini karna ngerasa udah kuat. trus… trus… trus………. ah sudahlah……. *bersimbah air mata*

  • I’m touched :(
    perhaps.. Like hurts each other

  • dini

    Speechless .. *nangis*..

  • Reblogged this on Hot-Choco Talk.

  • langsung baca komen dulu, batal deh baca postingannya.
    dari pada bersimbah darah ahahahha

  • dianseptia

    Aihh padahal kehidupan asmaraku baik2 saja, tp kenapa rasanya ikutan :'(

  • Reblogged this on Sebuah Kisah.

  • I almost cried reading your blog! :’)

  • nhaz

    aaarrrgggg :'(

  • “You know what hurts the most? You’re happier with him than with me. It makes me think I’m not worth a penny. And, I remember how we talked about our future together.”
    “Before you, healing a broken heart was as easy as one two three.”

    shit, it’s my fault to read this..
    now I’m missing her again.. #RJR

  • delianti natalina

    Rasanya campur aduk habis baca ini.. Sedih yg pasti..

  • SJ

    a year ago. i was there, feel exactly the same pain. but as the time goes by, i get better everyday. not because the pain goes away, i just get used to it.

  • harini

    nangis2 baca ini…………. ;””(

  • you’ve got me crying now :’))

  • Freya

    I just can’t help but weeping insanely.. I broke up two weeks a go and reading this post just bring so much pain.. Memories are the true killer.. I wish I can put my brain and heart somewhere so I don’t have to feel the pain for awhile :'(((

  • I wish I can turn back the time…

  • Sakit sampe ke ulu hati :'(

  • Chika

    Lexi…
    Ini tuh.. Ini…
    Speechless gw bacanya.
    Andai gw baca ini setaon yg lalu,gatau bakal bengkak segede apa ini mata gw.
    Sadisss lu!
    :'((((

  • rika

    jlebbbbb…

  • waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, like this, nice story :D

  • meniksiregar

    Ceritanya sakiiiit bgt ya,pernah disitu,serumah,sekantor en jleb bgt wktu mesti pisah :'(

  • saya juga merasakan hal ini, sekarang

  • ahhh :’)

  • FRISKA DELORIS

    it was touched me in the deepest of my heart !
    kampret !
    i was feeling like this in a few of months :'(

  • Jarwo

    mak jlebbb

  • Annisaragi

    ini sangat menyakitkan. :'(

  • Q

    Bacanya dari mulai deg2an,,gemeteran,,sampe banjir bandang.. :'((( mata bengkak dong.. T_T

  • Syifaatun Nisa

    *speechless* :'(

  • :'(

  • I feel that :'(

  • ten

    You describe perfectly,, klo bkn puasa. Saya nangis bombay nih (´̩ε `̩ ) .

  • Lisa Via

    Oh my!!… *speechless*

    I was there 3years ago, when my long 4-years-relationship BF broke up with me for another so-called better girl..

    Feel exactly the same…
    It’s really hard to see the person we love happier with someone else, it is HARD..too much!

    • TF

      I feel you. It’s me. Today..

  • andhoaja

    Goddamnit…. remember when you told me that you’re gonna ask my opinion for every decision you have to make????? I thought that’s our way to start.. but you left

  • Gamila ganesha

    thank you, Alex. bagus banget.

  • The world is what it is. There is no need improving the world. It is only a concept that we humans think of. We cannot improve the world as it is a personal perspective on what that means. Hitler tried to improve the world in his own view and look how that turned out. Nobody should want to improve the world as somebody else may think that very improvement is an abominable idea and fight against it. I would suggest that if you are able to wake up and enjoy the world then there is no need to improve the world. It is already enjoyable. Improve yourself, and hope that can affect the world in goodness. That’s all you can do.

    • Dude. What. The. Hell. Are. You. Talking. About?!

      Were you on drugs when you post a reply on this fiction post? Did you even READ it? People should stop being a smartass.

      • zee

        He read. But he just couldnt grasp the meaning of it.. -___-”

  • speechless koh bacanya, bikin kejer :'(

  • rika silvia

    reblog kohh =) silviarika

  • seriusan, ini keren. :))

  • Pingback: You and Me VS The World, No More. | DianTriana.com()

  • ziolicius

    Damn, di pontianak lagi ujan koh pas baca ini., bapernya double.

  • apa yg ku rasakan 5 tahun yg lalu :((

  • Nabilah Basalamah

    Ini bagus bgt. Like i can feel the pain and sadness. Padahal lagi gak galau :))
    Keren Kohhhhh!

    • aww, terima kasih nabilah bukan jeketi 48 :”>

  • Chelsea

    I already read this post for many times. I like your words to describe and explain, I can feel it. nna little memories, a deep thought about what happened in this world; people can’t expect everything. This post, actually make my mind suddenly wake up. it’s really me. nThanks for being a good writer.nxoxo

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  • disqus_3hxwBTQu4H

    Wow.. aku merasa terwakilkan.. ku sedang merasakannya..