“Sayang, bagusan gaun merah ini, atau gaun sutra biru ini?” Mata Molly berbinar sambil menunjukkan kedua gaun di tangannya kepada Joni, pacarnya, yang menatap gaun-gaun cantik itu secara bergantian.
“Well?” Nada suara Molly sedikit naik. Mulai jengkel melihat Joni yang garuk-garuk kepala padahal nggak ketombean, mulut terbuka lalu menutup, persis seperti ikan mas koki di aquarium rumahnya.
“Ehm…” Joni berdehem sejenak, mencoba mengulur waktu untuk berpikir. Dia tak ingin memberikan jawaban yang salah. Cewek dan kode. Sebagai cowok, Joni nggak pernah mengerti kenapa cewek kalo ngomong harus pake kode. Apa mereka terinsipirasi dari buku DaVinci Code? Apa para cewek sebenarnya punya obsesi rahasia, menginginkan pacar-pacar mereka seperti Robert Langdon, sang pemecah kode tersohor? Kenapa sih mereka nggak ngomong aja terus terang maunya apa? Dunia akan lebih indah, tentram dan damai tanpa kode-kode bodoh dari para cewek, kan? Tapi, selama cewek masih hobi mainan kode, dan selama Joni masih mendeklarasikan dirinya straight dan doyan cewek, maka selama itu jugalah dia harus berusaha memecahkan kode yang dijamin akan memberikan sakit kepala yang ampuh. Dan nampaknya ini akan menjadi derita seumur hidupnya. Robert Langdon, you have the easiest code to crack compare to my situation right now, you son of a bitch!, batin Joni.
“Kayaknya lebih bagus yang merah, deh, Beb. Kulit kamu akan lebih cerah kalo pake warna merah.” Kali ini, Joni yakin, jawabannya akan mampu memuaskan hati Molly. Pertama, Molly suka warna merah. Kedua, dia sudah tiga kali mencoba gaun sexy merah itu, lalu tiga kali juga Molly keluar dari kamar pas butik berlantai marmer hijau dengan lampu benderang yang menyilaukan mata ini sambil muter-muter kayak model di catwalk. Jadi nggak ada celah dari jawaban Joni. Sempurna.
“Jadi menurut kamu kalo aku pake gaun biru ini, kulit aku nggak akan terlihat cerah, dan aku nggak akan terlihat cantik? Gitu?!”
Mamih, save me now! Wajah Joni mendadak pucat seperti baru saja menyaksikan kunti telanjang. Kembali, mulutnya membuka dan menutup tanpa ada sepatah katapun yang keluar. Bahkan gerakan buka-tutup-mulut ikan mas koki di rumah Molly pasti akan kalah cepat dengan apa yang Joni lakukan sekarang. Nggak ada celah, huh? Yeah, right, you wish, Joni! , rutuknya dalam hati.
“Uhm.. err… Kamu pake biru juga boleh, kok… Keren juga!”
“Gimana, sih? Jadinya merah atau biru?!” Sekarang nada suara Molly sudah meningkat satu oktaf. Alisnya juga mulai naik, bibir berkerut, dan Joni sadar, bahaya mulai mengancam.
“Apapun yang kamu pake pasti bagus, Sayang. Gaun-gaun itu kayaknya memang dibuat khusus untuk kamu.”
“Jangan ngegombal, deh. Aku kepengin denger pendapat kamu! Bukan keahlian gombal kamu!”
Lah, emang tadi gue ngomong apaan, sik? Gue bilang merah, salah. Bilang biru disalahin juga! Kampret lah! Joni mengomel-ngomel. Tentu saja, dalam hati.
“Tadi kan aku udah bilang merah…” Belum sempat menyelesaikan kalimatnya, Molly sudah menyela.
“Tapi kamu bilang, yang biru juga bagus!”
“Aku…”
“Jadi menurut kamu aku nggak pantes pake gaun-gaun ini, kan? Iya?”
Sekarang, Joni beneran panik. “Bukan! Bukan gitu! Kamu pake yang mana aja cocok, kok! Sexy!”
“Beneran?”
“Serius! Demi jambul aku yang keren ini!”
“Yee… Nggak usah sok ngelucu kamu. Jadi, yang merah atau biru?”
Oh, kill me now. Ratap Joni dalam hati sambil menatap Molly dengan pandangan mautnya, puppy eyes. Yang tentu saja sudah bisa ditebak hasilnya: gagal total.
Cewek cantik di depannya masih tetap mengharapkan jawabannya, yang sudah dia berikan sebaik mungkin, namun tak ada satupun yang mampu memuaskan hati Molly.
“Dua-duanya, deh…”
Bola mata Molly membesar. Bulat, dan indah. Joni terpana. Ini dia… Tanda bahaya tingkat kedua! Ambulans mana ambulans?!
“Kamu itu cowok. Tapi nggak punya pendirian. Sebentar bilang merah. Abis itu biru. Lalu dua-duanya. Nggak jelas maunya apa. Padahal aku baru nanya hal yang simpel, lho…” Molly berjalan menjauhi Joni yang berdiri mematung.
Skak mat. Joni cuma bisa menghela napas panjang. Omelan Molly menembus telak ke jantungnya. Dalam hatinya dia berharap, di universitas seluruh dunia ada mata kuliah “Bagaimana Cara Memecahkan Kode-Kode Perempuan Yang Teramat Sangat Menyebalkan.”
Saat mereka melangkah keluar dari butik itu, mata Molly kembali berbinar senang. Di tangannya ada satu kantung kertas berwarna coklat, isinya: gaun keren berwarna hitam.
317 responses to “Kode Maut”
Sering banget kayak gini nih, Ngasih kode maut ke pacar. Tapi pacar nya gak nanggep kode kode gue. Ending nya berantem atau jadi bete sendiri. :))
Wkwkwkkkk…. Tp gak smua cwek kaya gt koq. Contohnya q :D
wkwkwkwk.. ternyata malah ambil gaun warna item.. anjir,, ngapain juga tadi ngasih pilihan merah ato biru??
the woman and her code.. hell yeah!!!
Bener sih. Cowok rata-rata ga ngerti maksud kode cewe itu apa. Tapi kalau kaya di atas sih parah banget :))
Ahahaha. Even I’m not that kinda girl, it’s still hillarious to read the story. Lol..
Anyway, I haven’t found any girls who act like that to their boyfriends nor even my friends (boys) have ever complained of their girlfriends being like that. Don’t u think the story is a bit exaggerating? :p
If it is true that kinda girl exists, I think not only man, even me as a girl will get annoyed as well.. :))
ngakak gw bacanya :D
nice story
Me…like that, Hªhªªнaнaªhªhªªªнaªªнaª paraaahh nih bongkar aib cewe…
Indeed, I did that :p
But only for teasing my boyfriend! I didn’t end up getting frowned or something. Lol
Itu kenapa gue selalu sendirian saat belanja baju sepatu tas (barang yg dipakai) supaya ga ada yg mempengaruhi pilihan hati gue. Hehehe! Kadang jd nyesel soalnya kalo belanja, minta pendapat org lain dan malah bikin bimbang. Biasanya malah berakhir ga jadi beli. Mungkin itu ya arti kodenya. Harusnya cowok bilang gini “aku suka kamu pake dua2nya, tp kalo kamu ragu mending kita cari yg lain spy kamu ga bingung milih, masih banyak toko, sp tau ad yg lebih keren…. Mau?”
uyeahh… dapet petunjuk kalo dapet pertanyaan semacam ini..
hahaha ngakak :D
I can feel you, joni :”>
Saat dilanda kode begitu, sebaiknya tersenyum lucu dan bilang apapun yg jd pilihanmu, aku dukung ;)
P.S : jgn diterapkan kalo lg PMS :p
Buwkkwkwkw Molly ngehheee wkwkkwkwkkk
Kalau shopping mending ajak teman cewe dech, jadi bisa sekalian adu kode2an :D
makin ngakak…
Hahaha.. Lebay cewenya..
astaganaga ini ada juga yg bisa mecahin kodenya? molly wants jony to buy those dresses :/
Haha.. Nice story Lexy..
Gw sih ngaku ajj.. Biasanya dlam milih barang (terutama bwt dibeli), gw ngasi dua pilihan buat dimintain pendapat.. Tapi biasanya jg yg dipilih malah barang ketiga yg diluar dua pilihan itu..
99% Cewek yang kukenal, mereka punya kode-nya masing-masing. Belajar 1 kode, bisa, nanti ketemu cewek yang lain, beda lagi kodenya/ Parah. Iya Parah,
Payah bilang, asli lucu ceritanya, hahaha
yg pasti ini bukan gue banget, malah lebih suka kode2an sama sahabat gue doang, walaupun bikin bingung cowo kita, yg jelas gak buat berantem sama pacar :p
Hahahaa… Jd malu sendiri bacanya… Kadang gw juga suka gitu :p mending jadi beli… Klo udh milih, berdebat.. Bete.. Gak jadi beli deh :)
Does that kind of girl really exist??? If it does, i don’t even want to try to be a straight, then.
cewek lebih rumit dari trigonometri x)))
Memek legit empot ayam dan hangat.
Irene 087788058849
PIN : 27293ABC.
lucuk hihi
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